cranky

The aversion is back this week; partly, the switch to 60-minute classes has upset what little groove I developed last week. Lots of stress and tension floating around, enough that I skipped breakfast this morning and didn't drink tea with the teachers, much to everyone's shock. I think it's a common Chilean belief that if you don't have enough refined flour and tea in your diet (minimum RDA: twice per day) you'll get sick.

Besides being unhappy and very much not wanting to do the thing I'm here doing for the next six months, the other difficulty is that Chileans are incredibly sociable, and under stress I get even more introverted. I get more irritable, and not wanting to either dump that on other people or take energy talking to them, I stop wanting to talk to them, especially here where so few people look past the language barrier to try and listen for the person on the other side. So I find myself in the teacher's lounge, surrounded by people who want to chat (often at me rather than with me, though they mean well) with no space for my emotions. If I latch onto that (or anything), I can get more cranky, but I'm usually pretty good at not doing that.

I may be revising my history, but I think I was feeling okay until curso G yesterday. Maybe they're my primary teachers while I'm here.