Monday, April 30, 2012

sometimes it's not fun

I went to aikido yesterday! Just the early weapons class, but it was nice to train again. I'm predictably sore, but not exhausted, though I was definitely using as much energy as I had available. I'm pretty sure that means I'm feeling better.

I had a really crabby, unenjoyable day today. Nothing bad really happened, as such. My team has encountered weeks of problems implementing the architecture design, and wasted a couple weeks on some stupid stuff imposed from outside, but those are the kinds of things that happen. No, I had a bunch of meetings, which people insisted I needed to be at, and I could easily have skipped. Those same people tell me I need to draw boundaries and go to fewer meetings. Which I do, until they harass me about the supposed need for my presence.

There's a lot to pick apart in that experience, though ultimately I think it's not very interesting. The thing that sticks with me is this: When I go to a lot of meetings, I hate my job. I love working with my teams, and going to meetings robs me of that. The product and strategic stuff just doesn't interest me. I'm completely consumed with the engineering work and people work that I do care about.

That's an excellent thing to know, as well as to know that it goes in phases and overall I like it. I wonder what, if anything, I should change.

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